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I should eventually be able to forgive him. Or forgive myself. Or accept. I know I should. But somehow the only thing I feel now is anger. I am in a deep pit of it. So much so that the only reason I wish he were alive now is so I could channel all this…
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We are running out of time. I just feel it in my bones. It does not matter how much I try to distract myself, to focus on other things, to blame the workload, my mother, the hormones, the weather. Eventually, sooner rather than later, we will have to face this music. We keep tiptoeing around…
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Difficult is watching my mother decline day after day, year after year, until we have reached a stage where almost nothing remains. She is a shell of the person she once was, stripped of almost everything that makes us willing to live. So I suppose I shouldn’t have been so heartbroken when, on her 65th…
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We tend to think that people don’t give themselves to us because they don’t want to. From the high horse of our own experiences, it sometimes seems impossible to understand how someone can love us and still not be emotionally available to connect with us. It took me quite a few years to understand that.…
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There’s this saying that goes: you’ll never find peace in places where you’re not meant to be. I am starting to believe it’s true. I find no peace. Not on holiday, not in my routine, not in my job, not even at home. There’s a quiet but relentless feeling that something isn’t where it’s supposed…
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I’m going to try something new to deal with stress: a cortisol reset. The idea from a podcast resonated with me. Twenty minutes with no notifications, no scrolling, and no distractions. It can be a walk, journaling, meditation, yoga, a bath… I already use baths (often without even realizing it) when I’m very stressed or…
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I got the job. After 21 years of thinking about strategic consulting, I finally got it. It only took 21 years after Bain told me they would not even consider me because my grades were not good enough. And me telling them that was bullshit. I am, indeed, a very stubborn woman, with very persistent…
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Anxiety is eating me alive. After a full week of trying to keep it at bay, I’ve decided to embrace it. I cannot give myself another pep talk about how I should not be feeling what I am feeling. If I’m feeling it, then it’s here. And, to be honest, it’s justified. Things are changing.…
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